Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don't criticize, condemn or complain:
   
   People don't criticize themselves for anything no matter how wrong it may be. Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's precious pride, hurts his sense of importance and arouses resentment.
   
   Let's realize that the person we are going to correct and condemn will probably justify himself or herself, and condemn us in return.
   When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotions, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.
   Any fool can criticize, condemn or complain - and most fool do. But it takes self-control to be understanding and forgiving.
   
   Instead of condemning people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.
   God himself, does not propose to judge man until the end of his day. Why should you and I?
    
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation:
   There is only one thing under high heaven to get anybody do anything. There is just one way, that is by making the other person want to do it.
   The deepest urge in human nature is 'the desire to be important'. The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.
   
   One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation. Somehow we neglect to praise our son or daughter when he or she brings home a good report card, and we fail to encourage our children when they first succeed in baking a cake or building a bird house. Nothing pleases children more than this kind of parental interest and approval.
   
   Let's try to figure out the other person's good points. Then forget flattery. Give honest, sincere appreciation. Be 'hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise', and people will cherish your words and treasure them and repeat them over a lifetime - repeat them years after you have forgotten them.
   
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want:
   
   Why talk about what we want? This is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want . You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us is just like you: we are interested in what we want.
   
   So, the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
   
   When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them cook and stir the idea themselves. Then they will regard it as their own; they will like it and maybe eat a couple of helpings of it.
   Arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him.  

Lots of love,

Surbhi

:)